Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
