Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We had sex on a dog bed..
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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