my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
