eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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