i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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