So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
