I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
