Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
