I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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