I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
