we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
