Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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