My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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