I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
