That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
