She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize