if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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