If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
soo... how was my night?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
