i think my mom watched the whole time
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
