Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
