i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
