Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
