break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
