after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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