why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
