a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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