in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you didnt know i had herpes?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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