we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
