Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
