there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Sext me about skeletons
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
