Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
