remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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