you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
why do cheetos always look like penises
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
