You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
