I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My vagina is very pro this idea
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
