ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
