I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
