remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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