Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
