woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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