i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
