respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
