i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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