New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
