Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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