Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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