Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
