Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
