It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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