Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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