We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
